you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
