Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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