i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
whose ass print is on the piano?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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