Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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