Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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