The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
