Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum

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(706): View more from Georgia

so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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(972): View more from Texas

Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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(269): View more from Michigan

P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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(512): View more from Texas

I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.

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