Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
