Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
