It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
