Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
