The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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