she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
