this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
