I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
