For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
