Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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