He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
