theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
