yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize