I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
