Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
