Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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