Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
