I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
