just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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