i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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