he wants to bone in the snuggie
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
