can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
