apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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