You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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