Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
