The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
