I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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