she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
