Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
