Jerry, you need to find god
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
