He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
