Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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