yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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