why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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