Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
