she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
