HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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