he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
