so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
