with your own penis?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize