Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
