from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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