Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
