so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They took my balls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
