Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
