She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
