I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
