I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
