I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
