Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
