i would punch a child for taco bell
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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