You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
