Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
